FYI

9 Things He Wishes You’d Do on a Date

1. Keep your Google findings to yourself. Let’s say that you Internet-sleuthed and discovered that he pierced a few body parts in college and willingly attended a John Mayer show just last month. Unless he starts singing “Your Body Is a Wonderland” while twirling a nipple ring, you’re not allowed to mention any of it.

2. Follow your wacky urges. How is a guy going to know what a twisted, McLovin sense of humor you have if you’re acting like a prim and proper lady all night? C’mon, there’s gotta be some kind of quirk hiding in there. In college I had a date turn to me at the local Bennigan’s and ask if I’d like to dance right then and there. “Are you serious?” I replied. She was, and as our jalapeño poppers got cold, we slow-danced between the tables. The memory still makes me smile.

3. Flirt, and then flirt some more. A little touch on the arm may seem so simple as to be irrelevant, but there’s not a guy on the planet who doesn’t feel a spark when you do it. We are bona fide suckers for any and all female attention. Another surefire move is to…

4. …Let him know you’ve checked out his body. Unlike you, men actually tend to not mind feeling objectified. When a date once told me that my shoulders were great, I grinned like a Cheshire cat. A general rule: If he mentions a body part more than once (“Everyone in my family has blue eyes”), say something nice about it. Yes, we’re that needy.

5. Don’t tell stories about your ex camouflaged as “my friend.” We’re onto you, because we’ve done it ourselves.

6. Laugh at his jokes—even if they aren’t that hilarious. As long as his attempts at humor are funnyish and inoffensive, what’s the harm in throwing a man a chuckle? And while you’re at it, remember to also…

7. …Laugh at yourself. On my first date with a woman named Cathy, she telephoned to tell me she was almost at my apartment. I said I’d meet her outside. After a pause she said, between giggles, “Um, actually, would you mind if I came up? I think I put my underwear on backward.” I was hooked.

8. Don’t show photos featuring your most attractive friends. Trust me on this one. All he’s going to think is, Threesome! Also ix-nay the director’s cut iPhone slideshows of your pet. It leaves a man imagining a whole different threesome. The kind with fur and drool.

9. Be aware that your horoscope is no indication of how the date will go (or where the relationship may lead). Ditto for any fortune cookies you read while out with him. However, playing that “in bed” fortune cookie game is totally fine and even encouraged. Some things—like a kick-ass date—never get old.